I have this extremely loud German friend. I love her. She’s amazing. And she’s also probably the loudest person I’ve ever met. It’s not that she shouts, it’s more that she shrieks, the ultimate in girly.

This is what happened last week at church:
Blair: "What happened to Anais? One minute she was sitting here next to me, and now she’s gone!"

Sindy: "I don’t know, how do you call it? She has bumblebees in her ass!"
(Please remember this was taking place in church)

Blair: "What?"

Sindy: "Yeah, you know, bumblebees, like ‘bzzzz bzz.’ She has them in her ass, I said!"

Blair: "You mean like ‘ants in her pants?’"

Sindy: "No, I said BUMBLEBEES IN HER ASS! They make her not sit still!"

Blair: "I think you mean ‘up,’ and not ‘in.’ No, wait, that’s not the point! You shouldn’t maybe say that quite so loud..."

Sindy: "Why not? She does, look at her, over there talking to that guy when she should be sitting with us!"

Blair: "No, I know... it’s just... in English we say ‘she has ants in her pants.’ Because ‘ass’ is not really something polite to say."

Sindy: "You just said it."

Blair: "I know, I mean, it’s not like a huge deal... there are worse things you could do... I just think... maybe this isn’t the appropriate time to say it?"

Sindy: "Well, then what is the worst thing you could say in English?"

I said it quietly to her, knowing she wouldn’t let it go until I told her. So I leaned close and said it quietly, not wanting the entire crowd to hear us.
Sindy repeated it at top volume, followed by two or three question marks and exclamation points.
"...THAT’S the worst thing you could say in English? How boring! I always thought there would be worse ones. They say that in movies all the time!"


A few weeks ago while hanging out with my Swedish friend, the ultimate in conservative, she dropped her wallet and blurted "SHIT!" Surprised because I had never heard her say anything more serious than "Oh no," I turned to her wide-eyed.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Because you just yelled shit. I thought something bad might have happened."
"Oh, it did. I dropped something."
I paused thoughtfully.
"Do you know what ‘shit’ means?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"Yeah. It’s like ‘oh no,’ or ‘rats,’ right?"
"I mean..."
"Because in Sweden that is how we use it."
"You use English curse words in Sweden?"
"SHIT IS A CURSE WORD?"
"I mean... yes."
So in Sweden, that is what they say. Apparently. In everyday conversation.
"Is it really bad to say?" she asked.
"I mean, it’s not the end of the world. People our age say it all the time. But you wouldn’t say it, like, in front of your parents or boss or something."
"Blair! I can’t believe it! I’ve said it to my professors before!"

I’ve also inadvertently learned a lot of French cuss words while here. But the problem is that they don’t directly correspond with ours, so despite the fact that there are a lot I think are probably not serious, I don’t want to use them and end up like my poor unknowing Swedish friend.
~B

P.S. I was at Monoprix (the grocery store) today, and I walked past the butcher counter where I noticed whole... somethings. I walked over to see what they were, out of some kind of morbid curiosity, and I realized they were rabbits. Whole, skinned, raw, and STILL LOOKING AT ME. Somehow they had skinned them, including their eyelids, but not their eyeballs, and they were in their laying on their backs, looking out at me and begging me to stop eating their animal friends. After I go back to the US, no more meat. That settled it. I’m going to have to go back to being a vegetarian after that... It was quite distressing.