On a random note...

The French don’t pasteurize their cheese. Which is odd because there is a Boulevard and a Metro stop named for Pasteur. I am also not sure that they iodize their salt, but since I have not seen people walking around with goiters, I feel like they must.

They don’t use toilet paper holders, which is just kind of weird.

And almost no one has clothes dryers. This has a profound effect on my everyday life because it means
1)my jeans are constantly baggy from not going through the dryer. Probably this is due in some part to me buying them with the wrong fit or something, but the fact remains that they barely stay up now and I am strongly considering suspenders as a viable method to alleviate this.
2)EVERYTHING is crunchy. I realize that for years people lived with no clothes drying machines, but once you are used to it anything NOT dried is hard and crispy.
3)Fabric softener was made to remedy this problem. But I have never used it, so no one told me that it STAINS. Consequently, everything I washed last night is going to have to be REWASHED because there are large fabric softener spots on it all.
4)I now have to iron almost everything I own. This is a completely novel concept to the 20-year-old 21st-century college student... I own a bottle of Downy Wrinkle Releaser (in the States) and am a firm believer in the concept of hanging things in the shower to steam the wrinkles out. And now I have to iron almost everyday. My grandmother would be proud. I have even learned the appropriate temperature settings to use for different fabrics IN CENTIGRADE.

I was supposed to start classes last Wednesday. After making the commute to the University, I got there to find out that they changed their mind and classes start next week. In France, the university system can just do that. No one complains because the people who live here pay next to nothing to go, since it is like our public school system.

They also write their dates backwards from the US way, which is only confusing on days like September 10 or October 9... But really I like their way better now that I have gotten used to it. It makes much more sense. They also only use military time. Which really also makes much more sense... you never have to clarify am or pm.

Furthermore, the International House of Pancakes is really anything but. Not that I frequent IHOP in the US... ok, who am I kidding, like any good college student, I have spent my fair share of midnight breakfasts there... in many states. And usually I don’t even really LIKE it that much, it’s just something you do with your friends when it is 3am and everyone is hungry. But in Europe they don’t eat pancakes. They do, in France, eat waffles, but only with honey or whipped cream or nutella and bananas. No French toast either. And hence this mild craving for maple syrup has gone unfulfilled because for all I know they don’t even have maple trees here. But in an effort to satiate my maple desires, lightning struck my brain and I realized that IHOP is not only international but they even do you the service of telling you so in their title. Alas, though... it is all a sham.

The following are things that are not good in France:
Croque Monsieur. It’s some kind of toasted bread with a mayonnaisey sauce and cheese and ham. Eww.
Salad Mixte. Already covered.
Sandwiche Nicoise. Not bad... but not good either.
Couscous. Though this one is probably more my fault for not knowing how to cook it.
Mandarin Pressee. It’s supposed to be mandarin juice... but something went wrong, I think.
Frozen pizzas here are good. They usually come with some kind of random topping, including but not limited to whole black olives. This would not be odd except that, since they are whole, they still have pits in them. Are you supposed to swallow them? I don’t know.

This is just for your edification, I have no experience with the following, but also at the grocery store they sell... well, in the States we have those plastic bowls of dry noodles that you just add water to and microwave and then you have, like, beef stroganoff or something. You know what I am talking about? Well, here they have the same thing. BUT IN THE VARIETY OF STEWED RABBIT.

Madame’s 4-year-old grandson made her a list of things that he likes to eat and doesn’t like to eat. It’s posted on her refrigerator, and among the things he likes is "Pate au canard" and "fromage, surtout chevre." Duck pate, and cheese, especially goat cheese. This is a 4 year old. And it’s not like this kid is pampered, that’s just how they roll here.

I have learned, finally, to avoid ligne 1 on the Metro. Not only are the trains always obnoxiously crowded on that line, but I have also come to the conclusion that the RATP only puts new train drivers on it. They swerve and rock and go too fast and then stop short, squeal the brakes, make sparks fly in the windows. How does one even go about swerving on a piece of TRAIN TRACK? I don’t know, but the line 1 operators have a gift for it.

But at the Louvre if you have an art history student ID, you can bypass ALL the lines at the main entrance and sneak in the back way. You don’t even have to go through security that way. Amazing.

Also, you know your French is getting better when you can explain to your Madame, in French, what to do with the honeycomb in the jar of honey you gave her. And when you can explain the concept of wireless internet (WiFi, pronounced WeeFee here) to her. I don’t really even understand that in ENGLISH. Ha.

Today I went down to the office of the Emory/Duke/Cornell program just to pick up mail and check on a class time for tomorrow, and it is a good thing I did because I found out NONE OF THE CLASSES I CHOSE ARE AVAILABLE. Somehow they gave us the list to choose classes for semesters 2 and 4, which are spring only... and so after having been here a month and having chosen my classes 3 weeks ago, I had to rechoose them all on the night before classes start.

Which reminds me... my friends at Emory just finished midterms. And I have not started classes yet. What?

Also, am back at my favorite wireless bar, Petit Defi au Passy, and it is raining so of course the dog is in here too, and they are out of white wine. A bar. This place, I have decided, is roughly the equivalent of the Pizza Hut in Beattyville, KY that had to close down 4 years ago because they kept running out of cheese. A bar running out of WHITE WINE is DEFINITELY on par with that. I've been here before, too, when they couldn't make coffee because the espresso machine was broken and one time when they had no milk for cafe au laits. Their menu is small but has appetizers and desserts for customers... Jessi and I came once for dessert and were told that they had NO desserts here. None, not like they just ran out of one, but they had none of them. I will never understand this country.

And all of that is why I love this place.
~B